Professional Over-Analyzer Sloth T-Shirt

$29.99

ColorLight Blue

Size S M L XL 2XL

Free shipping

On orders over $70

Breathe Easy returns

30-day return policy

Human-to-Human Support

No bots

A soft, lightweight tee that talks back to your inner worrier with a wink. This shirt features a playful illustrated sloth at a laptop with the headline “Professional Over-Analyzer” and a tiny status bar that reads “Loop Active.” Wear it on slow mornings, long remote work days, or when you need a laugh about your endlessly replayed emails. The fabric feels smooth against skin and drapes cleanly thanks to a classic crew neck and relaxed fit. Subtle printing details on the sleeve and neck keep the design feeling curated, while the tear-away label and ribbed collar mean less fidgeting and more comfort. It’s made from responsibly sourced cotton and finished to hold its shape—so the message stays readable through lots of washes and real life.

Product features
- 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g/m²) for a soft, breathable feel
- Tubular knit construction (no side seams) for a smooth, waste-reducing fit
- Ribbed, elastic collar with shoulder tape to prevent stretching
- Pearlized tear-away label and durable print methods (DTG/DTF accents)
- Certified for safety and sustainability (Oeko‑Tex, EU warranty, compliant materials)

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Bangladesh

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean

Visit our sizing page here if the table below is too small!

Since using dressing rooms is a complete nightmare, we’ve provided flat lay measurements below. This makes it much easier to measure at home first, before buying.

In order to do this, get hold of a current t-shirt which fits well and lay it out flat on the floor.

How to Measure:

Chest: Measure from armpit to armpit.
Length: Measure from the highest point of the shoulder down to the bottom hem.

Shipping & The "Wait" Game

Delivery is usually 5-8 business days:

We usually ship within 3 business days as we need time to print the design (done here in the U.S) and make sure it meets the quality guidelines. We aren’t rushing here and hope you aren’t either.

Once handed to USPS, it usually takes 2-5 business days and you’ll be given the tracking info which you’ll be able to check an unhealthy number of times and prepare yourself for when it arrives.

The "No Extra Stress" Returns

If the worst happens and your new T-shirt turns up defective or damaged, we’ll fix it with a replacement or refund – we’re not here to add to your stress and find a loophole.

Just please let us know within 30 days and keep it unwashed, like new (the standard ‘like new’ rules).

Just reach out to us here – we’re not a corporate machine, but real people trying to help and exist without the crippling anxiety.

For change of mind etc returns, we will need this returned back to us, please read our full return and refund policy found here.

The "Don't Panic" Laundry Guide

- Do not dryclean

- Do not bleach

- Air dry or tumble dry: low heat

- Iron, steam or dry: low heat

- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

- Don't iron the print.

- Use gentle detergent

- First wash may bleed

The "Need to Know" Stuff

Our gear is unisex and has a relaxed, "lived-in" feel. We use flat-lay measurements (found on the size chart) because we know trying things on in a cramped dressing room is a sensory nightmare. If you like a baggy "shield from the world" fit, size up.

Yes, if your cart hits $70 or more. We hate hidden fees as much as we hate unexpected phone calls. If you're under $70, the shipping cost will be calculated at checkout—no jump scares, we promise.

We aren’t a giant warehouse run by robots. We usually ship within 3 business days. Once it’s with USPS, it’s typically another 2–5 business days to your door. You’ll get a tracking link so you can check its status whenever you need a distraction.

We want you to love what you wear. If your item is damaged or we sent the wrong thing, we’ll refund you or swap it out, no interrogation required. Just reach out to here within 30 days and keep the item unwashed and unworn. Find our full return/refund policy here.

Because our shirts are garment-dyed (for that vintage, soft feel), they might "express their feelings" during the first wash. Wash them in cold water with similar colors or on their own the first time to keep your other clothes safe. For future washes try to keep it cool.